Sid Vicious

Today I lost my best friend. My lovely black labrador mix was rapidly losing weight, and today we got results of a blood test stating that he had liver disease. Today we decided that we just couldn't let him suffer anymore. He went from being this laid back, happy dog, to not being able to get up on his own and the depression on his face was unbearable.

My mom called me while I was at work to give me the news, so I left immediately to come home and spend the last few hours I could with Sid. My family rescued this dog when I was 13, and he was basically the first dog I've ever been really attached to. Sid has been there for me through the hardest times of my life and it was so difficult for me to say goodbye. I tried hugging him and crying but he moved away, so I knew that he was in pain and didn't want to be touched. I eventually got up and went to my room because I couldn't stand seeing him like this anymore. About a half hour later he got up enough energy to get up and walk into my room. Sid and I have a routine of him being in my room in the mornings, and when my mom isn't home. I started crying when he came in. Once he got on the floor, I got down beside him, and talked to him like he was a human being. I thanked him for always being everyone's friend. He was even nice to people I didn't like. He was the best host. No one was ever lonely in our house because Sid always stayed with new people and he let anyone pet him. I thanked him for showing me what love is. He taught me what unconditional love felt like because he's seen me be a terrible human and he's forgiven me for it. I thanked him for going on all of the walks with me, letting me hug him throughout the years when I've had mental breakdowns, and just being company so I wasn't alone. I thanked him for hanging in there until we could all get home so that we could take him to the vet, and I promised him I would stay in the room and be brave so he wouldn't go to sleep alone.

I don't know how I'm going to get through losing my dog. This is so unreal. It's so weird getting off of my bed and not having this big black dog at my feet to look out for so I don't trip and fall over.

I feel so alone now. I know I'll feel better in time, but this pain is so deep.

I love you, Sid Vicious. All dogs go to heaven. So I know you're chasing bunnies, digging holes, and eating peanut butter bones to your heart's content there.

Rest in peace, old friend.

Friend, please don’t mourn for me
I’m still here, though you don’t see.
I’m right by your side each night and day
and within your heart I long to stay.

My body is gone but I’m always near.
I’m everything you feel, see or hear.
My spirit is free, but I’ll never depart
as long as you keep me alive in your heart.

I’ll never wander out of your sight-
I’m the brightest star on a summer’s night.
I’ll never be beyond your reach-
I’m the warm moist sand when you’re at the beach.

I’m the colorful leaves when fall comes around
and the pure white snow that blankets the ground.
I’m the beautiful flowers of which you’re so fond,
The clear cool water in a quiet pond.

I’m the first bright blossom you’ll see in the spring,
The first warm raindrop that April will bring.
I’m the first ray of light when the sun starts to shine,
and you’ll see that the face in the moon shine is mine.

When you start thinking there’s no one to love you,
you can talk to through the Lord up above you.
I’ll whisper my answer through the leaves on the trees,
and you’ll feel my presence in the soft summer breeze.

I’m the hot salty tears that flow when you weep
and the beautiful dreams that come while you sleep.
I’m the smile you see on a baby’s face.
Just look for me friend, I’m every place!