I hate blogging. Back in my preteen years I would spill my heart out on my Xanga. I did this for attention and even though this was well over ten years ago, I still envision myself as that 11 year old angry tween screaming about how hard life was for the entire internet to read. I feel like I need to find a happy medium between opening up on the internet and...well, not. I'm getting ready to dive into what I want to focus my bachelor's degree on and I'm going to need to be more open about myself on social media. Most of the time when I feel the need to blog it is when I'm angry and shouldn't be putting those feelings on the internet for cyberspace to read. But, I'm coming to a point in my schooling where I need to establish myself more positively in the "blogging" realm so I definitely need to start practicing. Right now I have to be honest and say -- I don't feel positive. My last post on here was about my dog dying, and I'm still feeling sad about it. He's gone and what makes it hard is getting used to him not being at my feet when I hop up to get in bed. I still take wide steps to avoid stepping on him, even though I know he isn't there. My other dog, Sadie, is all alone. My family has a plan to get a puppy in the summer when I get home from New York so she has a friend. All of this makes me think about how things are going to be for me in the fall, because I'm going to be moving out of my family's house, and there will be no dogs. Ugh. There's just a dark cloud hanging above my head these past two weeks. I feel like Charlie Brown when he walks with his head down. I have a lot of great things to look forward to in the next few months...Book of Mormon, Britney Spears in Las Vegas, Graduations, Billy Joel, and my first trip to New York...so I really have so many things to be grateful for. I just miss Sid. I suppose I should let myself grieve. Sid will always be my special dog. His liver was failing. He was powerless, I was powerless, it was just his time to go. I'm waiting for the "acceptance" part of this grief to come already.